These words came up for discussion whilst I was on retreat in Bali. They resonate deeply with me personally and can provide food for thought for all of us.

The notion of a life of discipline can conjure up a bleak picture of self-sacrifice and austerity, a dour life with little pleasure or fun. All sensible shoes and early nights! But what if we think of self-discipline as being a tool, to use when we need it?

As children we are disciplined by our parents, school, society... Discipline is largely prescribed for us and mostly we have little choice but to take the medicine. But what happens when we grow up and start to write our own prescriptions? Do we know what is best for us? Which pills are poisonous? Do we care?

“It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back”– Mick Jagger

As a young adult I tried to use self-discipline to force myself into shoes that were never going to fit. The ones that looked so good on the shelf and I expected would fit me perfectly! But when I put them on they were all wrong; the wrong shape, the wrong colour and they hurt.

As a young yoga student wearing “the wrong shoes” I constantly berated myself for not being a better yoga student. All the ancient yoga texts and many teachers have strict prescribed rules about what you MUST do in order to become a good yogi. The more I tried to force these rules upon myself the more I rebelled and the less I wanted to do yoga. What I am beginning to understand (with some maturity) is that each individual will slowly embrace appropriate self-discipline as they begin to sense the fruits of their labour. Self discipline comes with the proof, it comes with the unfolding evidence that “hey, this feels good, I am feeling a little better, I want more of this, I CHOOSE this”.

With maturity and wisdom we see that discipline can be a positive force. You choose to be disciplined because you want to, not because you think you should. It becomes about self-love and is quite the opposite of denial and self-sacrifice.

"Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself." – Joseph Campbell

And, (sorry Joseph), for a slightly softer feel replace the word blame with forgive...

Treat yourself with much love and care. Nurture respect for your body, your mind and your spirit. Develop respect for others and the world around you. Watch out for the signs of self-abuse. We all know what is inherently good and bad for us. When you stuff up, forgive your failings and move on. Every human path is unique; you have to build it yourself, stone by stone... step by step… and remember:

“For every man there exists a bait which he cannot resist swallowing”- Friedrich Nietzsche