You cannot do yoga. Yoga is your natural state. What you can do are yoga exercises, which may reveal to you where you are resisting your natural state.
~Sharon Gannon

In a SunYoga Groove class recently we were working on core strength and were doing some supported partner work.  One of the class members said, “Oh, there is no way I can do that, I don’t have any abdominal muscles, I can’t do it!”.  She was absolutely certain that she couldn’t do it without even trying.  I asked her to give it a go anyway and to her surprise she discovered she could do it!

This is a simple example of ways that we limit ourselves without challenging our beliefs.  Belinda writes later in the newsletter about our “hats” of identity. I would like to talk about our deep internal patterns, which rather than hats are more like restrictive swaddling cloths that form the armour and clothing of the Small Self.

A new born baby comes into the world full of delight and blissful ignorance. They are completely open and passionately curious about everything. As we grow and develop we are shaped by our experiences, both good and bad, into an identifying sense or shape of the Self.  “I like this, I am this sort of person, I behave in this way”.  Some of the beliefs are projected onto us by the people around us and others we decide on ourselves, they serve us well and give us the best, affirming feedback…  As we test the boundaries our sense of the Self starts to move in patterns which become more and more familiar. The more familiar the patterns become, the more we lock them in them as us.  This is who I am.  But is it all we can be?  Is the script that we habitually follow in need of a re-write?

Bad things happen to everybody. In times of trauma and challenge our survival instincts kick in and we do whatever is needed to stay afloat and make sense of the situation.  Once the crisis is over we are left with memories and patterns of reaction that become part of our permanent patterns of the Small Self.   

So, what does this have to do with yoga?  Let’s say you are in class and I ask you to stay in a posture that is challenging and uncomfortable for you.  Some part of you is less than happy to be in the posture and your patterns are triggered…  Perhaps you start to fidget, it gets more uncomfortable, you start thinking negative things, “I hate this posture, I want to move, this is stupid…”  You get hot, start sweating or maybe you just switch off, “I don’t like it so I’m out of here!”  There are a myriad of ways to react and we all know our personal favourites.  

When you start delving into the deeper levels of yoga you start to rub up against uncomfortable parts of ourselves as the limiting shape of the Small Self gets challenged.  We sit and breathe, we listen in a posture, we watch the mind and we notice.  We notice more feelings, more mental patterns, more behavioural habits.  As we notice we may decide that we would like to change and that some bits are no longer serving us well.  Too easy, but it is?  The Small Self resists change and the patterns are heavily worn into deep, habitual grooves.

So why bother, why not accept the Small Self and be done with it?  This is certainly is the easy way.  But most of us deep down have some faith, an inkling, that tells us that something could be different and that the habitual story of the Small Self just doesn’t ring true.  Is this all there is, my friend?  We sense there is something more, the possibility of a bigger, more open, less dictated way to be.

So how do we challenge the small self?  Death to the small self by bullying and violence?  If we think of the habitual patterns as our angry, hurt, reactive, fearful, childish selves then we get some idea of how to work with them.  Just as you would a fearful, upset child it is wise to approach gently, with love and compassion.  When these wounded and reactive parts of us are befriended, and held with respect and care, they can start to release and give up the fight…   They can finally breathe a sigh of relief as they realise that they are safe and no longer need to be so protective.  This is a slow and delicate process, not for the faint hearted, and not something you can tick off the to do list as done, finished, accomplished!

Don't be discouraged.  It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock.  ~ Author Unknown

Don’t give up, there are continual opportunities to notice the triggers and try out a different reaction.  Approach the journey as an adventure with a child’s love of play, experimentation and delight in trying again, again, again….

The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling.  ~ Lucretius